Horses standing

[Donn Hewes]

Sickle, There is another thread in this same “training Horses” area. called “how do you start your horses?”. You might find that interesting. One of the things I do when I am training a green horse or a green teamster: or any combination of the two (horses that are new to me), is start them loose and free. Can I get them moving around me, etc. Can I make them stand still while I move around them. In the case of a beginning teamster they learn that their awareness of the animal (mental contact) is what keeps it still. A touch or a voice are all fine depending on what the animal needs, but mostly it is our being aware of how our movements effect them.

Then we throw in a harness and lines, and maybe a singletree and chain, and suddenly the person finds it is much harder to keep the animal still; before we turn around, after we turn them around, etc. This is because all the awareness that was developed when we had the loose horse can be lost when we focus on the log, the chain, the lines etc. This where I ask the beginning teamster to remember what level of attention it took to make the loose horse stand while we worked around it. Eventually you can handle all of those and still keep the animal standing still until you are ready. If at first you are careful; moving slowly, in how and when you pick up the lines and make contact only when you are ready they will stay still; it becomes easier and more relaxed with time. these are just some of the methods and ideas I use. Donn

[Carl Russell]

( i am a bit afraid that i’m going to create a team that only i can use without a bunch of retraining, especially as i’m careful about my body language and not everyone is or cares, which could cause a lot of confusion)

First of all, very few people can drive my horses easily the first time. I know very few teamsters who would admit otherwise about their own. As far as I’m concerned training your horses to the lowest common denominator is not productive. Consistent teamster skills are not as commonplace as we would like to believe. Horses are pretty intelligent, and habitual creatures, so they can learn to accommodate inconsistencies, but I have never been that interested in the old plug-type horse, so don’t waste too much time fretting over this, just keep working on building the best team you ever had.

@sickle hocks 40484 wrote:

….. I also think of whoa as a command to follow instantly, but the chance to stand afterward as a reward. If someone gets restless we’ve been going off trail for a circle or two in the deep snow…standing is a lot less work and seems to be preferred.

The other issue I’m having is them anticipating ‘walk’. If I was just training, I’d make things really random and tough to anticipate but as I’m working there is a certain amount of routine and they sure pick up on it fast.

After standing I move into place, pick up the reins and get a bit of contact and then ask for ‘walk’ with my voice and by turning my body ‘on’ (working without blinders so they are able to see me). I realized I had been turning my body on before using my voice and they were walking off that…it didn’t seem fair to correct that as I like using a sequence of increasing intensity cues for whatever I ask, so now I’m trying to turn on body and voice at the same time as I’d really like them to wait for the voice.)

Anyway they are starting to want to go when I first take line contact. We are practicing standing around a bit like that, or going off in a circle and coming back if they need to. Anything else I should be doing?

Please bear with me, I am just trying to be of assistance, and since you have posted here looking for feed-back I will throw out my observations.

Much of what you wrote above shows me clear inconsistencies. First you say that whoa is a command that is followed by a chance to stand, then you say after walking through deep snow standing is preferable….. which is it? Does whoa mean stop, or does it mean stand? To me it is just simple to use whoa to mean stand. They have to stop in order to stand. Horses that show a need for clarity will do better with simple one-concept commands. If stand is a reward for stopping, then what is the reward for execution of other commands? The subtle difference between stopping then standing is not easily absorbed by a horse. The chance to stand instead of moving is really clear, and it is the reason why they stop naturally, so it doesn’t have to be explained to them.

They are also showing you that they are more ready than you are. Horses have a lot of energy, and it is their way. When they are ready before you are, and you aren’t ready to lead them…. they will not see you as their leader. As inconvenient as it may be, you need to get ahead of them. You will not be able to show them how to slow down to your preferred method until you show them that you are ahead of them at every turn. If they keep finding ways to get ahead of you, then your leadership will be in question.

One other thing is that I am never not training. Every single momentary interaction I have with my horses is an opportunity to reinforce my initiatives. I especially think that training while working is very productive. I rarely take them off course, just use every opportunity during work. Truthfully there should not be two approaches, one when training, the other when working. There is no doubt some exercises are easier to accomplish outside of the workplace, but whatever works there should be repeated in the working situation.

You are clearly thinking hard, and trying hard, and seeing well, all of which is exceptional. Just try to remember that when you see a horse not meeting your expectations, the solution may not be as simple as a trick, or equipment change, it may be even simpler. I mean try to simplify your communication. Remember it is not disrespectful to think of them as needing simple messages…. in fact it is even more respectful, because it is part of accepting them as horses.

Keep up the good work, Carl

[sickle hocks]

Thanks so much guys, and thank you Carl for your feedback…it’s most welcome and it’s really nice to have a chance to work through ideas with others.

Carl, I’m going to be mulling over what you’ve written tonight…you have an interesting and subtly different take on things that I’d like to understand and draw on. I’d like to try expressing what my current approach is so that it’s more clear…it might help me get my head around the differences, i hope you don’t mind…

I have definitely been thinking of ‘whoa’ as a command to stop. I like riding western (stuff like reining or working cowhorse, not saying i’m any good at it) and so l like a hard, active stop on a horse. Obviously I’m not going to be asking for sliding stops in harness with the bale sled, but I just don’t like trickling down to a stop…I really believe that ‘whoa’ means stop, and stop Right Now…I like it off the voice with the rein to back it up if needed.

My next expectation is that the horse follows a command until I give the next one. What I mean is that ‘walk’ doesn’t mean start walking, it means we are walking…not breaking into trot, or dilly daddling, or dribbling to a stop. Same with ‘trot’, etc.. So I guess that my current thinking on ‘whoa’ is that it means stop now, actively…and then wait for me for the next cue…(which happens to be the same thing as standing )

I don’t really think a lot in terms of reward, and probably shouldn’t have used that word…more pressure and release. He might take just the voice, or maybe a bit of rein pressure, but as soon as the stop happens he gets the release. I like the old, ‘make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult’. So standing until there’s a signal from me is pretty easy, and they like that. Almost like a reward i guess. Walking without a signal is the wrong thing so we turn it into a bunch of work walking in the snow or backing up, and that’s difficult. Then we whoa and try again, and maybe he makes the right choice next time.

I’m interested in what you are saying about leadership and the horses being ahead of me, and needing to get ahead of them. I think that you are saying is…watch the horse, when it looks like he is going to break the whoa because he can’t stand it anymore, then get ahead of him and ask for the walk first so that it’s your idea…Does that sound about right?

These guys aren’t really anxious or champing the bit…they just know damn well when we are about to walk and they decide to do it a few seconds before I ask. I feel like I’m nagging them to correct this, but I really don’t want them making their own decisions. I’m a bit afraid of getting them sour on things.

PS..I couldn’t agree more when it’s said that we are always training. It just seems like anticipation becomes more of a taining issue when training during work because everything is so repetitive…sled’s empty, i bet we’re going to walk and turn around, and then i bet we are going to turn right at the shed and head up the lane, etc etc…I need to find some more varied jobs…hauled a dead calf 🙁 out of the coulee through the snow, at least it was a good learning time for the horse…

sorry to be long winded…thanks guys..i’ll read that thread on starting

[Donn Hewes]

“I’m interested in what you are saying about leadership and the horses being ahead of me, and needing to get ahead of them. I think that you are saying is…watch the horse, when it looks like he is going to break the whoa because he can’t stand it anymore, then get ahead of him and ask for the walk first so that it’s your idea…Does that sound about right?”

I think this is a fine idea as far as it goes. You also want to “get ahead of him” By seeing what is contributing to the horse staying still and what is not. In that way expanding their ability to do the right thing. I think one of the common mistakes we can make is to try and rush. I especially encourage folks not to rush through something difficult.

The question is; if we don’t want to rush to get going, what can we do to “get ahead” of them? A hand on the their hip for a second while we are still helps them be still, then we can move while they stay still. getting them moving can be part of that, but not the whole picture.

[Carl Russell]

@sickle hocks 40498 wrote:

…….

I have definitely been thinking of ‘whoa’ as a command to stop. I like riding western (stuff like reining or working cowhorse, not saying i’m any good at it) and so l like a hard, active stop on a horse. Obviously I’m not going to be asking for sliding stops in harness with the bale sled, but I just don’t like trickling down to a stop…I really believe that ‘whoa’ means stop, and stop Right Now…I like it off the voice with the rein to back it up if needed.

……..

I don’t really think a lot in terms of reward, and probably shouldn’t have used that word…more pressure and release. He might take just the voice, or maybe a bit of rein pressure, but as soon as the stop happens he gets the release. I like the old, ‘make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult’. So standing until there’s a signal from me is pretty easy, and they like that. Almost like a reward i guess. Walking without a signal is the wrong thing so we turn it into a bunch of work walking in the snow or backing up, and that’s difficult. Then we whoa and try again, and maybe he makes the right choice next time.

I’m interested in what you are saying about leadership and the horses being ahead of me, and needing to get ahead of them. I think that you are saying is…watch the horse, when it looks like he is going to break the whoa because he can’t stand it anymore, then get ahead of him and ask for the walk first so that it’s your idea…Does that sound about right?

…..

I know you are on the right track……

You bring up an interesting point. I have run into many horse riders who think about things a bit differently than I do. One of the things to bear in mind is that you never break contact with a riding horse. While the animal is responding to rein and word, they also have your constant contact to reassure them.

Donn’s discussion about working around a loose horse is very appropriate. Working with draft horses is much more like round pen work, than like riding. In the round pen, the horse learns to stand comfortably as a reward. When they do what they are asked to do they get a reward…. to stand. Without any contact or attention to hold them there, they learn to relish this.

It is not like you describe, “that was hard, and this is easier”, it is more like “when I did what s/he asked I get to rest”. Using tiring exercises actually does not reinforce the desired actions, especially since there probably is very little consistency in the tiring exercises for them to learn from. This serves more as a distraction or confusion.

I agree that in the context of working “whoa” is uttered like a command. When I say whoa, I also expect immediate stop. I say whoa, drop the lines, and can be stepping off the cart, all in the same motion. Because I use it as a reward to every action I ask of them, they learn that whoa is something they want to do, and they learn clearly that it is a break in pressure. This clarity allows them the confidence they need to know they are doing exactly what I expect. The way I reinforce this is to stop them often, even during work, and allow them a clear a definite opportunity to stand, if only for a few seconds, before giving a new command to move.

If I have a horse that appears to be unable to stand, or that is anticipating my next move, it shows me that I have not been clear enough in my exercises to define the difference between working and standing. I have found that a horse that senses that I am concentrating on them is apt to act as though they are under my intentional pressure, so when they stand I ignore them.

What I mean about getting ahead of them is similar to what Donn wrote. I do not mean rush, but I do not turn my attention to my horses until I am ready to take charge. I only pick up my lines when I am ready to drive. I only speak to them when I have something I want from them….. sometimes I might say “easy”, as a way to get a hesitation out of them, but generally when I am ready, they know they need to be too.

I expect my horses to stand until I am ready to work. They are completely released from pressure. That is when I expect them to stand. I have fallen off a sulky plow, and dropped the lines, and had them stop dead in their tracks. To reinforce this I NEVER even think about touching my lines until I am ready to drive. I have had trouble with others, particularly novices, who want to take a few seconds to gather their thoughts before asking my horses to move…. that won’t happen with my team. They have learned that pressure is my time, and release is their time. As soon as there is contact on the lines they are on.

By gathering my thoughts first, I am getting ahead of the horses. They are not bolters, and only when really fresh are they likely to step out that quickly, but if the driver is not ready to use the contact s/he will run into communication problems quickly with any of my horses. This is the type of clarity I am trying to describe in the action of stopping and starting. The blurry ends, like stopping and standing as a command (pressure) leading softly to the release of standing, and the contact (or even purposeful attention) without definite desired action will not create the clarity that will help your animal execute the desired outcome.

I really have a problem with trying to “make’ a horse stand still. It just sends all the wrong messages in my mind. I see pressure as meaning action, and release as meaning no action. If I am putting pressure on a horse to stand still, I feel like I am shooting myself in the foot. If most of the time my pressure means to move, and they are instinctively driven to find release where they can stand comfortably without pressure, then my rationale is to use standing as a natural release from pressure. If their natural comfort zone is standing, then if I put pressure on them to remain standing, they sense the normal intention of my pressure as to do something, but then my intention seems to mean that I don’t want them to move……This is confusing to me let alone to the mind of the horse.

Pressure and release is great, because there is absolute dichotomy. When we rationalize soft boarders we lose the effectiveness of this basic equine language. Humans are great at seeing shades of grey, not so much horses. Working with horses is a lot like computer programming, a whole lot of 1’s and 0’s. Not that they can be programmed, but that it is either pressure or release, 1 or 0. I never try to condition any response form my horses, just reinforce the communication system. Pressure, follow my lead, release, stand. When I am on, I expect my horses to do no thinking about what is going on around them, just concentrate on what I am communicating to them. This way they learn to focus on me all of the time, looking to me as the leader, even when I have given them the freedom of a pasture.

Carl

[Carl Russell]

@Carl Russell 40505 wrote:

…….

It is not like you describe, “that was hard, and this is easier”, it is more like “when I did what s/he asked I get to rest”. Using tiring exercises actually does not reinforce the desired actions, especially since there probably is very little consistency in the tiring exercises for them to learn from. This serves more as a distraction or confusion.
……………

I really have a problem with trying to “make’ a horse stand still. ……

These two things were not that well explained.

When we let a tired horse decide that it is easier to stand, we are letting THEM decide to stand. If we use standing as a reward for effective execution of a desired action, then it is us allowing them to stand.

Also it is not as I wrote it, it is more accurately “When i do “X”, s/he allows me the comfort of release to stand”. So while tiring activities may cause a horse to want to stand, the purpose for pressure-based activity is to recognize the desired action, and to immediately reward with release.

In nature, the herd boss puts pressure on the subordinate until they demonstrate behavior that shows they are willing to follow the leader, then the leader will take the pressure away. If we engage in pressure to get them to move, then it should always be to get a desired result DURING the action. When using the pressure to tire the horse with emphasis on the “action”, like standing, after the pressure, we are working contrary to the mind of the horse.

There is a concept that teaching a horse to stand is like teaching a dog to sit. These two are quite opposite. The dog is a predator, they desire food, and they want to move in order to scare up prey. The horse is prey, and their comfort is to stand and not have to run. The only time a dog sits still is when it is waiting for its superior to finish eating and to allow it access to the food, or when it is well-fed. So asking a dog to sit, or stay, with corrections, can be rewarded by releasing them, and allowing them freedom or food.

Using corrective body language on a horse to stop them from moving is exactly the same body language that they are hard-wired to move away from.

Carl

[sickle hocks]

Carl and Donn, thanks so much for taking the time to write. That was just like being able to sit down over coffee. Thanks both for some new ideas, and for helping me think more clearly about what I have been doing already. I’ll try to make this part ofmy work for the next weeks and months.

Carl, I agree 100% about not ‘making’ a horse stand. When they are standing all pressure is off. My thoughts on body language aren’t to use it to stop them from moving, it’s more that I need to be really aware that I’m not inadvertently putting pressure on through not paying attention to how I’m standing. Lessons from Donn’s round pen.

Also, I’m not really thinking of using tiring action as a correction to make the horse stand still. The horse already knows that standing is a place of no pressure, and that when I ask him to move he’s going to go to work. When the horse decides by himself that he is going to move, it seems like you’ve got to do something, so we also go to work. Not in a punitive way, just work. I feel like the horse ‘gets’ that if he stands the pressure is off, but if he decides to move on his own he’s not going to be able to just drift away on his own time, he’s going to be moving into pressure and going back to work. After we have worked for a while we go back to the spot, whoa, and he gets another opportunity to stand without pressure.

I like your idea on throwing in a whoa after each ‘ask’ as little breaks when the pressure is off.

@Carl Russell 40507 wrote:

To reinforce this I NEVER even think about touching my lines until I am ready to drive. I have had trouble with others, particularly novices, who want to take a few seconds to gather their thoughts before asking my horses to move…. that won’t happen with my team. They have learned that pressure is my time, and release is their time. As soon as there is contact on the lines they are on.
Carl

I needed to hear that. I’m definitely asking for those few seconds of contact before the walk and maybe they just don’t work that way… It was also good to hear you say not to worry about training to the lowest common denominator but to train the team that I want.

(ps they really Do the best job of standing when you’re ignoring them…had a ram out yesterday and he came at me while I was unloading the sled…i had to take him down a few notches and run him through the fence, it was pretty chaotic behind the horse but he never moved a foot 🙂 )

[Jeroen]

@Carl Russell 40505 wrote:

I expect my horses to stand until I am ready to work. They are completely released from pressure. That is when I expect them to stand. I have fallen off a sulky plow, and dropped the lines, and had them stop dead in their tracks. To reinforce this I NEVER even think about touching my lines until I am ready to drive. I have had trouble with others, particularly novices, who want to take a few seconds to gather their thoughts before asking my horses to move…. that won’t happen with my team. They have learned that pressure is my time, and release is their time. As soon as there is contact on the lines they are on.

Carl

I am very interested in this discussion because often you drive them without thinking like you drive your car and this makes you think…
Now while I am all for pressure and release and like to think I do well I have a mare that stands still like a sleeping statue (working single) when I throw the lines on the ground or when I step off the forecart, but as soon as I tough a line she is getting all jumpy and too ready for work. So what to do if you want to hold your lines and don’t want them to move? Got lots of situations over here where I don’t trust them to stand without lines in hand (wildlife, tractors, hunters, cars, etc.). This mare is 12 years old and works almost everyday, nevertheless she stays jumpy and decides on her own to move (when lines in hand).

[Carl Russell]

I will hold on to the lines during work, while at whoa, but with no contact, as a way to be prepared to begin again, or as you say, to insure against accidental spooking. However, it is still without contact.

I over emphasize that need to be ready when picking up lines because this is a common tendency of horses, to be more ready than the teamsters. I am not consistently convinced that it is a matter of calming the horse, as much as it is encouraging the teamster to be more ready. Often, I will get contact and reiterate whoa, and release, so that they know I’m there, but they also know they are to remain standing. In this way whoa is more like a command, but I condition them to it as a reward.

Scary distractions are always challenging. I tend to focus on the horses, reiterating that they can remain calm, standing at whoa, but ready to reaffirm my control. I generally find that by giving them whoa as a reward, they are inclined to be less concerned about potential threats….. they feel safe in that mode.

I also firmly believe that having a clear and consistent “language” that I use to reinforce my knowledge of them, and subsequently, my leadership, they really do look to me for guidance in threatening situations. I rarely feel like I have to get them to stop paying attention to the “Saber-toothed Tiger in the bushes” (school bus)…. They know it is there, but they are paying attention to how I am reacting to it, to determine how they should react to it.

Carl

[Mark Cowdrey]

Carl,
It would be helpful to me if you could explain what “contact” means to you.
Thanks,
Mark

[Carl Russell]

@Mark Cowdrey 40560 wrote:

Carl,
It would be helpful to me if you could explain what “contact” means to you.
Thanks,
Mark

The point where the tension, or lack of slack, on the lines makes contact with the bit. A horse can feel a fly land on a hair on its foot, so it can be pretty light contact, but there is a difference between holding the lines in my hands and “making contact”. You can see my open hands in this picture. I’m not putting much pressure on that bit…. and it is just a straight bar… no leverage.

Now, my horses when fresh will feel me get on my logging cart, or they make see me moving in behind them, and they will become alert, maybe even act like they want to step out, but THAT is not contact, and I condition them to wait for me to actually pick up slack in the lines. The way I do that is by making clear and complete release of pressure at whoa, do it often, and do it as a reward for action they took during contact. There is a clear dichotomy, a undeniable distinction, between contact=task, and release=reward.

I can tell I have made contact by the way the horse reacts. There is another whole series of exercises that help the horse to learn that contact to me is that razor thin line between slack, and tight…. At the same time light as a feather, and hard as a rock….. but that also comes down to pressure and release, and escalation of pressure only to the point where they give in, then immediate release, but only to the other side of that razor thin line, so that as they test again, I can reiterate the exact level of contact I am looking for.

Jeroen Vos wrote:

…. because often you drive them without thinking like you drive your car and this makes you think… Unfortunately I rarely think about driving horses like this…. I am too stimulated by the creative interaction…:o

Carl

[Does’ Leap]

@Carl Russell 40561 wrote:

There is another whole series of exercises that help the horse to learn that contact to me is that razor thin line between slack, and tight….

Carl:

Can you elaborate on these exercises? I have been working with my green Canadian for the past several months and it has been slow-going. Standing has been a particular challenge. Aside from frequent stops and staying ahead of your horse, what else do you do to reinforce the concept of standing/release to a new horse?

George

[Donn Hewes]

I really enjoy thinking about the words that describe the actions we use to work or train our animals. I am sure that these words are not so important for folks that have horses going where they want and standing where they want. I find them interesting because at some point you need them to teach others. I think have gained some new ways of describing things from this conversation.

I have often talked about the benefits of working the calm, relaxed, and alert horse. The horse that is comfortable is the horse that will stand. When I start to train a young horse with some spunk (long rope or lines) I am not trying to stop it or get it to stand. In fact I am not even asking it to slow if it is not ready. Just make it go in circles. It will slow on it own and you will be creating the light mouthed horse you want. This is where an animal first discovers that I can easily “stay in front” of it. When it is slow and more relaxed it is ready to begin to learn to stop and stand. Based on what Carl said, and I agree, they can’t stand if they aren’t relaxed. That is the definition of standing for them.

When you work around the loose horse you are learning about a new aspect of contact (getting and holding the horses attention). If I want the animal to remain still I have to learn what body language and sounds constitute “contact”. I remain studiously aware of my animal while avoiding the “contact” that tells the horse it is time to pay attention and prepare to do something. All of this is easier the more relaxed the animal is. In this manor we can use the same definition for contact whether we are talking about picking up the lines; or walking around the horse.

You can help the animal relax by asking it to move for a while. This is where the driving techniques the develop a relaxed horse will help when you ask to stop or stand. One of the reasons that I like to incorporate the the basic training into a simple task like skidding small logs is because we don’t get rapped up in the idea of frequent stops, and other details that can serve to keep the animal from relaxing. If you focus permitting / encourageing / developing the animals ability to relax at work, then stopping and standing will flow from that.

[Does’ Leap]

@Donn Hewes 40570 wrote:

If you focus permitting / encourageing / developing the animals ability to relax at work, then stopping and standing will flow from that.

This has been a hard lesson for me but I think I am finally getting into my thick head. I had a preconceived notion on how I would like this Canadian to progress. He did not share that notion. He has been more than willing to fight me along the way and I have stepped up to meet him there. The result has been very little progress (in harness). I have basically started over with him and my goal is his total relaxation, my mantra is “no fighting”. I just had my first experience driving him this morning when he was 100% relaxed. I had lots of short duration, frequent stops and stayed ahead of him. I am convinced that if we continue like this, standing will come.

George

[Carl Russell]

I don’t really have a “Series” of exercises, just a whole host of ways I build communication with my horses. And as I have said it is P/R over and over and over.

When I start with a horse, I am pressure off, completely ignoring the animal, just letting them be the horse they are, until they become comfortable with that fact. I want them to see me in the state where I am comfortable with them as they are. This is my base-line for release. Then I start placing expectations on them, pressure, escalating to get what I want, then releasing.

This is the basis of my communication with them, and they become comfortable with it, to the point that everything I expose them to is applied in the same manner. They learn to pay attention to how I use pressure and release to indicate my expectations, and when they learn this, and expect this, then they are comfortable and confident following my lead.

I am not a trainer per se, so I don’t really have exercises. I am more of a communicator, so every situation is fresh for me, and I just try to stay present and look for the best way to communicate to my horses what it is that I expect. Sometimes that means falling back on some tried and true process, other times it is something completely new that I come up with on the spot. I find it to be very much like a conversation.

I find it hard sometimes to not fight when a horse is resistant. I find that not asking a horse to do what they don’t want to do works best. It is really challenging to wait for the natural responses that are the ones we want, rather than to correct the behaviors we don’t want. Horses do much better when rewarded. I like to find ways in which I can reward the horse for acceptable behavior, and try to stay away from struggling with them, because it generally conveys to them that part of what I want to do is struggle with them.

If I get a high degree of resistance it usually means that I have not conditioned the horse well enough to my pressure. Sometimes horses can be so accommodating that they require very little pressure to respond in many cases, so we don’t have a opportunity to show them how we can control the level of pressure exertion, and that we can go as high as we need to get the desired result. If we are always reasonable and reserved then we never give them the chance to see how “big” we can get if we need to. I like to find ways to show how big I can get, and how well I can control that, by returning to comfort when I get their recognition.

It is no doubt the desire to be subtle all the time, but since horses are pressure positive they will push back, so they need to get a clear picture of the extremes that you will go to maintain your initiative. Once they understand this, they will relate to every pressure this way. If they are too accommodating for some expectations, they begin to expect a low level of pressure, so that when they get into a situation where they need more guidance, any greater pressure may be confusing to them, and they may be inclined to fight it.

By showing them a graduated scale of pressure, they learn that pressure is not a wall, but an increasing barrier, that the harder they press into it, the less likely it is that they will enjoy it. They do not need to be defeated by it to learn that it is in their best interests to stop pushing, especially if there is an equal degree of reward for their response.

Carl

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